Thoughts for Those Who Take Life Too Seriously

• Save the whales.  Collect the whole set.

• A day without sunshine is like... night.

• One the other hand, you have different fingers.

• I just got lost in thought.  It was unfamiliar territory.

• 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

• 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

• Honk if you love peace and quiet!

• Remember, half of the people that you know are below average.

• He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

• Support bacteria.  It's the only culture that some people have.

• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

• Change is inevitable.  Except, of course, from vending machines.

• Those of you who believe in psycho-kinesis, please raise my hand....

• Okay, so what's the speed of dark?

• How on Earth do you tell when you're out of invisible ink.

• If everything seems to be going well, then you've obviously missed something.

• Hard work pays off in the future.  Laziness pays off now.

• Everyone has a photographic memory.  Most people just don't have any film.

• Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

• What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?

• And finally... why do psychics have to ask for your name when you show up?

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This page first uploaded October 25, 2005
Most recent update for this page October 25, 2005